Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Dont Worry Be Happy

Matthew 6:25-34 “therefore I say to you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body….do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Iam a certified worrier. I graduated from the University of Worry about Everything magna cum laude. Somewhere in my childhood I learnt to worry and it never stopped. Can you remember your earliest worry? I can. I was five or six years old and my younger sister had learnt to tie shoelaces before me. It made me worry even though she was only 11 months older than me. Ridiculous, I know. my environment was a contributing factor to my worrying. My mother worried, my sister worried, my grandmother worried. Worrying was in my DNA.

I graduated from the shoelace-tying worrying class to a higher level. I worried about my body, my hair,will I ever kiss a guy to will I ever fall in love, I moved into the adult world, worrying about who am i? what do I want to do with my life? Will I ever get a job?and the least favourite one- money, O my God, what will I do? And I am paying a heavy price for worrying. it has distracted me, brought fear in my life and clouded my judgement. Because of worrying I stayed in a miserable job that I loathed for almost 3 years-before I came to my senses. because of worrying , im possessive about material things like a stupid digital camera which incidently I got conned out of. because of worrying I cant think straight enough to write a construct sentence..which is sad-im a writer, because of it I have felt sorry for myself, been moody, spent sleepless nights in bed with my heart pounding and sobbing.

The spirit of worry has done nothing for me except bring, his other stronger friends into my pity party. Ill introduce you but if you are like me, you know them pretty well, there is Spirit of Fear, Mr. Depression and my favourite one, Mrs. Comfort Eating. Surprisingly since I have resigned from my job I have managed to eat everyday, give my mother money, pay for the food and electricity bill. Since my resignation, Ive been under the Lord’s Shadow and want for nothing. So yesterday, after my last and final meltdown, God showed me a Fact, a Fact I had overlooked. A Fact that is spelt out so clearly. “Don’t worry” I decided to listen to the quiet inner voice of the Holy Spirit. It said, “Don’t worry” too. and after studying the evidence of the past three months, I opened my eyes to the truth. God has got my back. He is with me always. He knows my heart’s desires, he wants me to achieve and live life abundantly but to also know that I don’t need to worry. All those materialistic desires that I have-buying a car, shopping in New York, being a successful published writer. I can have them all but He will always stand steadfast, when im poor, when im rich, when im a loser writer and when iam a successful writer, winning the Nobel Prize in Literature. Yes, I get that Lord, but is someone getting me? Lord wants us to lean on Him for Everything… I MEAN EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING YOU NEED OR YOU THINK YOU NEED, rely on God. He will take care of it. he will sort it out. He loves you , He loves me, He wants to help, He wants to make your life fulfilling, deep and meaningful. He knows you so well, He knows whats important to you. Trust Him, not even when it doesn’t seem easy, but even when it seems crazy. when the skeptic You is screaming in your head, “are You insane, God is not going to help You, You are a Sinner, You are Promiscous, You are a Liar, You are living in Sin with a man, You think bad thoughts, You haven’t gone to Church for the last three Sundays, Just Who do You think You are coming to God’s altar, asking for Help, You do not deserve this,”

Don’t let the enemy eat you alive. His lies are so sweet and so easy to believe - you aren’t good enough, you aren’t thin enough, you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have any money, you’re too scared. Hello!You are your only Asset. You are good enough. You are smart enough. You are brave enough. He already knows your sins, (and what a relief that is?) at least someone knows all your dirty little secrets and STILL loves you, isn’t that wonderful. Not even your parents, spouse, siblings, know some of the things we think and know and Jesus knowing full well how evil the human spirit can be, died so that we may be saved.

“sufficient for the day is its own trouble” when I read that today I afternoon, I got the impression that its not just a comfort it is also a warning and if warning is too strong of a word for you then let me say it’s a strong suggestion. I believe it strongly suggests of two things, today there will be many challenges, the enemy will come in many forms to tackle you, God is telling you, ‘I will handle it’ The other strong suggestion is, I have made you, I know how much you can take in terms of health. If you worry about tomorrow, it will contribute to detriment of your health.

How many times have we had that stress is the leading cause of heart attacks, ulcers, hypertension and do we need to talk aboutfor you to believe me. Worry and do it at your health’s risk. I get diarrhoea when im stressed. I studied for my, the last and final papers that I thought would be the measure of my life, the past, the future and the now ( Yeah, I know, how stupid was I to let a silly little exam like KCSE define who I was?) in the toilet. When I came into the job I resigned, I had only three strands of white hair, now after almost two years and might I add I am not yet 30 years old, I have a lock of white hair just above the right side of my forehead. You do the math? Is worrying truly worth it. Worry at your own peril, my Friend? As for me and my house, we are going to lie in bed knowing that my tomorrow has already been taken care of.

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