Lost

Im at home listening to the crickets, the silence of the night. In muthaiga there is no loud music, no babies crying and running up and down. Its so different from Pangani and Kileleshwa. Im happy to be here, Lord. Its just that sometimes it is hard. I feel lost. The days move fast, I don’t even know how. I don’t watch as much television anymore, I like that and I walk, I walk a lot every evening, as I walk I think I pray, I pray hard for God’s blessings and for His protection. I hope He does something tomorrow. I hope I can earn an income soon. It kills me that im not. Does that mean money is my idol?all I know is I feel lost. I love my parents. They have really been patient and supportive. My father once told me in his drunken stupor that no one will ever love you like your parents and im inclined to agree. After all im the prodigal daughter who has returned home and no one is yelling. Lord Jesus, bless my parents. Help me to honor them no matter what my destiny is, allow me to do that. Lord Jesus, today let Your Will be done. Please give me peace in my mind, in my sleep tonight. In Jesus’ name I ask for this. Amen.